Holding On, Letting Go

This week I am being called to let go and I sense that I am not the only one. We are still in the year of the snake, shedding old patterns, identities, and attachments. I have been cleaning out my closet, organizing my space, and cleaning – creating space for the new. This is a powerful time to reflect and release. 

Reflection

I spent time away in solitude with myself in the mountains for reflection and contemplation on Monday, and it was so rejuvenating and clarifying for me. I went on a beautiful winter snow hike, then went to a Japanese spa where I read, journaled, sunbathed, and had a massage. It was a memory I had been wanting to create for 2 years, and I got to create and experience it. The time isn't as important as the timing. The timing of my solo spa day was incredibly aligned. 

Holding On

During the massage the masseuse said “you're holding on” and as soon as he spoke those words my body softened, relaxed, and released. A wave of sadness, grief, and release washed over me. It was as if everything I had been carrying began to fall away. And in that moment I realized I have been holding on my entire life. Ever since my little brother died when I was 4 holding became a pattern. A default mode of living that was evident in my body. While the masseuse didn't know exactly what I've been carrying, he told me he can feel the stress I've been carrying in my body.

Letting Go

I've been holding on my entire life. It's what I've known. I realized that so many of us are holding on. We hold onto what we've known, to comfort, to safety, to patterns, habits, beliefs… Holding on can feel protective. But over time, it can quietly become a burden and a weight we carry unconsciously. 

The Body Reveals What We Conceal

Our bodies store memory in the cells, fascia, muscles, and tissues. It is evident in our holding patterns, our breathing patterns, and our posture. Our body language reveals so much more than we may realize. So while we may try to conceal how we truly feel, our body will always reveal the truth. Our bodies hold memories, emotions, and feelings that we may have suppressed until we are ready to let go. 

Why do we hold on?
We hold on out of fear, out of the desire to control, out of love, and so many other powerful motivations. We hold on because it is what we've known and letting go bring us into the unknown. We hold on as a means to create a sense of safety and certainty. But the holding on creates more stress and often limits what we are then able to receive. We must let go in order to create space to receive that which we desire. 

Contemplations on Holding

I didn't realize I had been holding on so tightly, so intensely until it was brought to my attention and I realized this is part of the human experience. These contemplations are designed to expand your awareness and support you in letting go of what you've been holding onto. 

Where in your life are you holding on?

What are you still holding onto? This may be patterns, thoughts, beliefs, etc. 

What are you afraid will happen if you let go? 

What we feel separates us is truly what connects us. We are all human, all experiencing different stressors, feelings, and emotions. We are all carrying different responsibilities and facing different challenges. We have all been holding on in our own ways. 

Letting Go

Letting go originates from and within the body, not the mind. So often we attempt to minimize stress, to control how we feel, only to compound the stress, tightness, and holding. True release comes when we allow the body to soften, to feel, and to lead. You've carried so much for so long, it is time to let go so that you can become. 

May this year invite more gentleness, more listening, and more space for release.